With This Kind of Living
by KouenTaisa
Summary: With this kind of living, I'd much rather face death. Corruption of the soul and of two lives forever intertwined. Written for a competition. Severus and Lucius pairing!


Author: Written for a challenge on Hogsmeade Station. The link is on my profile if you want to see the rest of the entries.

Title: With This Kind of Living  
Theme: Corruption  
Words: 1,000-10,000  
Word Count: 1,305  
Line: "With this kind of living, I'd much rather face death."  
Character: Severus Snape/Lucius Malfoy  
Genre: Angst (Romance?)

-------------------------------------

Severus wasn't sure how it had happened.

He was fighting, an inner demon and a best friend.

Staring into familiar eyes, he lost himself...

... they kissed...

... staring into familiar eyes, he lost himself.

He was fighting, an inner demon and a best friend.

Lucius wasn't sure how it had happened.

----

Severus had loved as a child.

He smiled and laughed, cried and loved.

It shattered the moment he lost...

... and there was no turning back...

... it shattered the moment he lost.

He smiled and laughed, cried and loved.

Lucius had loved as a child.

----

Severus tried to change himself, and failed.

Corruption was so much easier than redemption...

... the pain served as a sharp reminder...

... corruption was so much easier than redemption.

Lucius tried to change himself, and failed.

----

Severus stared at his reflection and felt remorse.

He felt pain, because, in the end, he was turning out to be just like the thing he hated. Hollow and without a conscience.

Because he wanted to change...

... life became his greatest possession...

... because he wanted to change.

He felt pain, because, in the end, he was turning out to be just like thing he hated. Hollow and without a conscience.

Lucius stared at his reflection and felt remorse.

----

Severus hated the Dark Lord almost as much as he hated himself.

He tortured, he killed, and he drove his victims to insanity.

Severus betrayed the Dark Lord...

... because he had broken the only thing that he had ever loved...

Lucius betrayed the Dark Lord.

He tortured, he killed, and he drove his victims to insanity.

Lucius hated the Dark Lord almost as much as he hated himself.

----

Severus felt regret.

Regret, because he had let her down. The boy was the only painful reminder he had left. A life unlived, but never a burden.

Reality closed in upon him. Taking away his breath, taking away his life...

... there was no hope left...

... reality closed in upon him. Taking away his breath, taking away his life.

Regret, because he had let her down. The boy was the only painful reminder he had left. A life unlived, but never a burden.

Lucius felt regret.

----

Severus was drowning. Or at least, he thought he was. Every breath felt constricted, as though he would never get enough air to survive. His world was spinning around him. Slowly, at first, now, seven days later, it was a rapid torrent. Sucking him in. Destroying what he had left. Life was cold. A cold and broken march that was lined with faintglances of the light you could never quite grasp.

Was everyone's life like this? A cold march into oblivion? Or was the corruption to his soul, deepened by his best friend, the waters in which he was drowning?

It was a pain like no other...

... a desperate grasping for what is and what could have been...

... it was a pain like no other.

Was everyone's life like this? A cold march into oblivion? Or was the corruption to his soul, deepened by his best friend, the waters in which he was drowning?

Lucius was drowning. Or at least, he thought he was. Every breath felt constricted, as though he would never get enough air to survive. His world was spinning around him. Slowly, at first, now, seven days later, it was a rapid torrent. Sucking him in. Destroying what he had left. Life was cold. A cold and broken march that was lined with faint glances of the light you could never quite grasp.

----

Severus lived. He lived in a small house set away from the world. A place where he had time to think and to rest. A place where, some days, he swore time stood still. Today was one of those days.

Standing in the doorway to his humble abode was the man he loved, lost, and could never forget. They kissed...

... it was like coming home...

... standing in the doorway to his humble abore was the man he loved, lost, and could never forget. They kissed.

Lucius lived. He lived in a small house set away from the world. A place where he had time to think and to rest. A place where, some days, he swore time stood still. Today was one of those days.

----

Severus never cried. He refused to cry as he sat at the front of the row, witnessing the marriage of Draco Malfoy. He refused to cry as Narcissa gave her son a small kiss on the cheek. He refused to cry as he seen a new life being brought into the world. A life that had the name of Scorpius Malfoy. He refused to cry the night his life truly began.

Tears showed weakness...

... and there was no weakness in love...

... tears showed weakness.

Lucius never cried. He refused to cry as he sat at the front of the row, witnessing the marriage of Draco Malfoy. He refused to cry as Narcissa gave her son a small kiss on the cheek. He refused to cry as he seen a new life being brought into the world. A life that had the name of Scorpius Malfoy. He refused to cry the night his life truly began.

----

Severus owned a journal. After suffering under Voldemort's painful hand, he wrote. He wrote a single phrase that filled the last page.

_With this kind of living, I'd much rather face death._

A powerful set of words. Words that cut through his soul like the light sometimes vanquished the dark. He was never truly living though, was he? He faced the duties of his so called life as he should. He taught what he could to those around him. Never willing to give more than he was desperate to steal back. For the years had not been kind to him. In his first year of school, he had let himself be brought in to the darkness. It was a beautiful web, created and maintained by beautiful people. A dreadful, yet powerful, reality. Corruption could ease one's pain, if you allowed it to do so.

Some part of our lives are always corrupt...

... sometimes, we refuse to see that truth...

... some part of our lives are always corrupt.

A powerful set of words. Words that cut through his sould like the light sometimes vanquished the dark. He was never truly living though, was he? He faced the duties of his so called life as he should. He thought what he could to those around him. Never willing to give more than he was desperate to steal back. For the years had not been kind to him. In his first year of school, he had left himself be brought in to the darkness. It was a beautiful web, created and maintained by beautiful people. A dreadful, yet powerful, reality. Corruption could ease one's pain, if you allowed it to do so.

_With this kind of living, I'd much rather face death._

Lucius owned a journal. After suffering under Voldemort's painful hand, he wrote. He wrote a single phrase that filled the last page.

----

Severus knew that Lucius had saved him. It was like coming up for air. A breath that no longer hurt. A wound that was healed. A moment in time that did not race by.

When the kissed for the first time in years...

... it felt like forever...

... when they kissed for the first time in years.

Lucius knew that Severus had saved him. It was like coming up for air. A breath that no longer hurt. A wound that was healed. A moment in time that did not race by.

---

Severus knew that it was heaven...

... when he said 'I love you'...

... Lucius knew that it was heaven.

---

They kissed,  
and there was no turning back.  
The pain served as a sharp reminder,  
life became his greatest possession,  
because he had broken the only thing he had ever loved.  
There was no hope left,  
a desperate grasping for what is and what would have been,  
it was like coming home.  
And there was no weakness in love,  
sometimes, we refused to see that truth.  
It felt like forever,  
when he said 'I love you'.


End file.
